If you have a friend or relative who is challenged by infertility, considering or already in treatment, following these suggestions is likely to be appreciated.
1. Don’t minimize the problem by mentioning the hassles of parenting or say there are worse things that could happen. Coping with infertility is painful and only those experiencing it understand how difficult it can be.
2. Don't offer advice or tips on how the couple can fix the situation, whether it’s exercise, food or lifestyle. Couples coping with infertility often blame themselves and struggle with this issue. If the couple has already seen or is scheduled to see a fertility specialist, the physician and nurse specialists will address these issues.
3. Don’t tell the couple to relax and if they are meant to become pregnant, it will happen. While stress often appears to be a contributor to infertility, the human reproductive system is complex and affected by a number of biological and physical factors. Women under 34 years of age who have tried unsuccessfully to conceive for a year need to consult a fertility specialist for an evaluation and information about their options. If a woman is 35 years or older, she should consult a fertility specialist after trying for 6 months to become pregnant without success; 39 or older, after 3 months of trying.
4. Don’t complain about your own past or present pregnancy. Couples dealing with infertility hope for the day they can worry about pregnancy.
5. Be supportive. Hugs and encouragement go a long way. Spend time together or plan activities that don’t focus on children. Show your love and empathy for your friend or relative’s challenge and feelings.
6. Don’t push adoption. Each couple has their own approach to family building, and is well aware of their options. This is a personal topic. If your friend or family member wants your opinion, let him or her ask.