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New terrorism etiquette

Posted in : Terrorism Etiquette

(added 2 days ago)

Lone jihadists have been directed to follow a new code of etiquette when launching terrorist attacks, according to the latest edition of the al-Qaeda-affiliated online magazine, Inspire. The winter 2012 edition of the magazine reveals the publishers are so concerned about their "reputation" that they have advised against the bombing of any places of worship, particularly churches and synagogues. The 62-page publication, which The Sun-Herald has obtained, also warns against targeting women and children, especially in places where they might gather without men. The Sun-Herald revealed last week that Australia had been named as a specific target for pyro-terrorism in the online terrorism and bomb-making magazine. The Federal Attorney General, Nicola Roxon, had condemned the publication but said there was no imminent threat against Australia.

One of the articles, titled "The Jihadi Experiences", warns against "harming civilians who are citizens of countries that have no relation with the conflict even if they are non-Muslim". "This must be done in order to maintain the reputation of the Resistance in the different spheres of public opinion," the article says.
The shift in ideology espoused for individual jihads is a major departure from attacks which have been launched against churches, synagogues, schools and mosques across the world. Terrorism experts say the change is due to a backlash by moderate Muslims against the violence.

Clive Williams, an adjunct professor at Macquarie University's Centre for Policing, Intelligence and Counter-Terrorism, said the shift depicted in Inspire echoed the sentiments of the Osama bin Laden letters, released earlier this month.

"The whole point of those letters was to warn that the business of targeting other Muslims is not the way to be going," Professor Williams said. "He [Osama bin Laden] wanted them to focus on the United States. This is also acknowledging that most attacks in the future will be carried out by individuals."The article encourages jihadis to practise terrorism in "his land" rather than incurring the cost and hardship of travelling, migrating, or moving to where "direct jihad" is possible. It lists politicians, media personalities and television centres as top targets. Economic targets included stock exchanges, airports, harbours, roads, power and gas installations, military bases and barracks, especially American bases in Europe and centralised computer centres. Other targets were where "Jews gather", but avoiding synagogues, and offices of institutions such as NATO and the European Union. Professor Williams said al-Qaeda had "dumped on" a major network in the past, which was why they had started their own media arm.

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Online Etiquette Lacking, Study Finds

Posted in : Online Etiquette

(added 3 days ago)

Online Etiquette Lacking, Study FindsPeople who don’t use Facebook or a smartphone are out there, but they’re getting harder to find. Along with the ubiquity of social networking and the mobile devices that let us check-in and share our every thoughts whenever we have them comes a new frontier that many people have yet to master: Online etiquette.

According to a recent survey sponsored by Intel and conducted by Ipsos Observer, 9 out of 10 adults in the U.S. believe that people are sharing too much information about themselves online, with nearly half of them reporting that they feel overwhelmed by the amount of information shared.

One-third of survey respondents said they are more comfortable sharing information online than in person and nearly half said if they couldn’t share and receive information online via mobile devices, they wouldn’t know what’s going on with family and friends.

The study also found that 85 percent of U.S. adults share information online, with one-quarter of them doing it at least once a day. Twenty three percent of people feel they are missing out when they can’t share or consume information online.

But all that online activity can translate into some pretty annoying behavior. In fact, according to Intel, the posts that people find most bothersome include constant complaining, inappropriate or explicit photos and private information.

To those, I’d add political ranting and tagging people in photos, although I admit the latter is something that bothers me only because I’m not keen on Facebook’s facial recognition algorithms being able to pick me (or my kids) out of a crowd.

And here’s a big one, at least in my world: Disrespectful commenting on blogs and other news stories. While I’m all for getting constructive feedback from readers and taking part in interesting online dialogue, it is never OK to berate, belittle or cuss at a stranger just because you can’t see him or her. If you wouldn’t unleash scathing reactionary comments to a person’s face, don’t do it online—or if you do, at least be respectful.

The other thing Intel’s survey brought to light is that Internet users even sometimes create digital profiles of themselves that are vastly different from who they are in real life.

It’s easy to see how that could happen. Introverts like myself, for instance, can be much more comfortable communicating via the written word than in person. So while I might be quiet in the flesh, online I can seem much more outgoing.

But what’s interesting is the survey found that 19 percent —nearly one in five—of people have shared false information online. This means you need to be increasingly discerning when it comes to trusting people online.

For instance, are you familiar with the term “sock puppet?” It’s an online identity for a person who is not real. One PCWorld writer has estimated there could be upwards of 600 million of them worldwide. The idea of communicating with fake people might just be the most aggravating yet. What kinds of online behavior bug you the most?

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Modern Etiquette:Five suggestions for greater self-confidence

Posted in : Modern Etiquette

(added 8 days ago)

The dictionary defines it as trust or faith, being sure. I believe it means feeling good about yourself, especially in regard to accomplishing something. That something can be a new job, a new assignment, a performance review, networking, or a meeting with co-workers. Here are a few actions that will result in real payoffs in our confidence quotients.

MOVE
No, not to a new job or neighborhood. Move your body. Take the stairs instead of the elevator. Park farther away from the store you're about to visit. Walk. Run. Ride a bike. Do yoga. Lift weights, even if it means doing your reps with a five-pound bag of flour in each hand. Work up a sweat. You'll feel better.

The bottom line is, when we feel better, we become more confident. Exercise clears the brain and the lungs, making room for newer, better, and possibly bolder thoughts. It gives us more energy. And - let's face it - energy is attractive. Energetic people magnetize others.

Nothing enhances your overall appearance like being fit. A good regimen of exercise will improve not only your posture but your personality. I believe that fit people look more focused and more confident.

Exercise not only increases strength and endurance. I find, too, that it helps mightily to defuse anger and frustration, and it gets the creative juices flowing.

TAKE A LOOK AT WHAT YOU ARE WEARING
There is no such thing as neutral clothing. Everything you put on represents a decision you have made and is a reflection of your good taste, your good sense, and your style. Remember, we judge others more on the basis of what we see than anything else. If your attire is inappropriate, colleagues are apt to question whether you know the rules of the game and whether you are or are not likely to be a significant player. Your superiors are apt to conclude that the quality of your work will match the quality of your appearance.

When you're considering how to dress for a work situation, ask yourself these questions:

* Who am I?

* What role am I playing?

* How do I want to be perceived?

* Where am I?

* Who are the people I want to impress favorably?

We're not talking fashion statements here; we're talking about what works in a given environment to be effective.

Grooming is everything. Develop four key relationships and you won't go wrong:

* Tailor: Good fit can make an inexpensive garment look like a million, while poor fit can make even an Armani look sloppy.

* Dry cleaner: The chemicals can be damaging to fabrics, so go to a reliable establishment and inspect your garments before leaving the shop.

* Shoemaker: We all notice other's shoes, mostly because we often get nervous and end up looking at the floor. Keep shoes well soled, shined, and in good repair.

* Dentist: A clean, bright smile makes us feel better about ourselves.

BREATHE
Find sanctuary inside yourself. There is honor in standing still. We are so time-crunched, information-bludgeoned, downsized, and multi-tasked that it's spiritually suffocating. Who we really are comes from the inside out. Without a way to "go inside" and focus, we add to our environment's chaos rather than its harmony.

Learn "belly breathing": lie down on the floor, be quiet and place your hands on your tummy. Breathe from your belly, letting your belly rise and fall like a bellows. Babies breathe this way and we know how self-confident they are. I've learned to belly breathe on elevators, in rest room stalls, and in the middle of crowded rooms when I need to calm down and focus. No need to "om".

Modern Etiquette Five suggestions for greater self-confidence

BE DISCIPLINED

Keep your agreements.

Be on time.

Be mindful and in the present.


That is a gift to yourself as well as others. Whatever we think and feel now creates what happens in the future. When we stick to the "now" and don't chase rabbits, we are involved and aware of opportunities. Others we deal with will sense that we're fully with them. That has tremendous impact on the quality of our personal and professional relationships.

GIVE AND RECEIVE
Give whatever you hope to receive in turn. If you want more cooperation and respect, give respect and cooperate. If you want to succeed, help others succeed. If you want more joy, be more joyful. When we circulate our positive energy, we create more and more to enjoy.

* Be open to giving to yourself. Honor your own worthiness to receive or no one else will.

Perhaps, as you read this, you are thinking, "Yeah, so tell me something new. I know this already."

To paraphrase one of my teachers, "Although we all know what to do, successful people do what they know." (Mary M. Mitchell has written several books on the subject of etiquette, including "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Etiquette" and "Class Acts." She is also the founder of executive training consultancy The Mitchell Organization with the website themitchellorganization.com. The opinions expressed are her own.)

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A guide to gym etiquette

Posted in : Gym Etiquette

(added 10 days ago)

A guide to gym etiquetteAlways
Wipe up your sweat – Leaving a pool of perspiration on the bench press for the next person to lie in is as unsavoury as spitting into your palm before shaking someone’s hand. It’s also a distracting sight for anyone psyching themselves up to lift a hundred kilos. Mop up!

Use deodorant – Nobody wants to work out next to someone enshrouded in the insufferable fug of body odour. Put the weights back – Return discs and dumbbells to their rightful place and, if you’re on the bench press, leave the next user with an unloaded barbell. Don’t leave things on the floor for people to trip over.

Sometimes
Switch off your music – A moot point, this one. You’re in the gym alone, hardcore rap/Bollywood hits/Coldplay pumping out from your iPhone, when in walks another person. You may have arrived before them but it would be presumptuous of you to think that they share your musical taste, right? Better to be polite and ask if it bothers them. If they’re nice, they’ll say no anyway.
Never

Article continues below
Take your mobile – You go to the gym to exercise – and we don’t mean your vocal chords. Can you picture Manny Pacquiao removing his boxing gloves mid sparring session to send a text?
Yell out – You’re pushing yourself and you want to show everyone that you can throw it around a little. But there’s no need to sound like a grizzly bear giving birth.

Hog the machines – Don’t linger on the same piece of equipment for too long. It’s inconsiderate and won’t endear yourself to other gym users, especially the fanatic ones whose day can be ruined if they don’t complete a full session. And nobody wants to get on the wrong side of a man who bends iron bars with his bare hands for fun.

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Best Gym Etiquette

Posted in : Gym Etiquette

(added 14 days ago)

Follow the rules of etiquette while working out at the gym. There's much more to a gym subscription than paying your monthly dues and showing up regularly. Your manners at the gym are important – they form the impression others have about you!  There are some unspoken rules anytime you’re in an area with other sweaty people around you.  These rules may not be posted but using proper behavior will ensure that you have a satisfying experience at a shared facility such as the gym.  The guidelines of personal and equipment protocol below will enhance your gym experience.

Best Gym Etiquette

1.Adhere to personal protocol.  The way you carry yourself at the gym affects those around you.  Whenever you are in a public place you are being watched and judged, which is all the more reason that you project a respectful and courteous behavior towards others.

2.Don’t be a “gym-tourist” and try to work the room.  The gym represents so many things to different people.  For some, it is a getaway from the stress, a place to blow off steam or a safe haven from the daily grind.  For others it may be a place to socialize or network, meet friends and even find a mate, or find some business clients.  But for most, the gym is a place to burn off the extra calories and get in shape. If you are the type of person who goes to the gym other than to work out, be respectful of people’s time when socializing in the gym. Don’t strike up a conversation with someone while they are concentrating on their workouts.  

3.Dress in appropriate clean gym attire and wear a deodorant.   This sends a positive message that you care how you look and smell.  Leave your pajama pants, hugger shorts, torn, dirty or smelly clothes at home.  Wear a T-shirt instead of a tank top to circumvent sweat running onto the machine.

4.Avoid taking business or personal phone calls unless you’re waiting for an important call.  As with most public places, it’s recommended that you switch off your mobile phone at the gym.  Considering the smart phones today have integrated cameras, nobody wants their butt the main attraction on a public website.

5.Minimize the sound level of your headphones so your music is not blasting into other people’s ears or annoying them.

6.Be considerate when you fill up your large water bottle or start chatting with someone around the fountain area.  If you are chewing gum and need to spit it out, remember the water fountain is not the right place to do so.  

7.Don’t offer unsolicited advice or go around correcting other people’s training unless you are a certified personal trainer.  You want to avoid the risk of a lawsuit against you should the person get injured by following your “correct way of training”!  

8.Minimize what you bring to the gym floor.  Don’t tote around your gym bag from machine to machine.  Store your gym bag in the locker.  Leaving stuff around and on equipment creates safety and confusion issue even if you are exercising right next to it.

9.Always bring a towel with you to the gym if your gym doesn’t provide one, and then use it. Towels help you keep your sweat to yourself, and they help you avoid the sweat of others. There’s nothing worse than using a piece of gym equipment with someone else's sweat all over it.  

10.Be on time for an exercise class and don’t barge into one that is already in session. Coming to class late disturbs others.  Don’t reserve space for your friends for the class they say they will attend.  What if they don’t show up?  “First come, first to participate” is the protocol.

11.Learn to share the equipment if the gym is busy.  Allow others to use the equipment when you take short breaks between sets of reps.   If you are waiting to use a machine, don’t pressure users by constantly asking them if they’ve finished using a machine, when they’re still exercising on it.  Don’t just stand there and continue tapping your foot either.  Instead wait for them to stop before asking or simply go find an unoccupied machine to work on.  

12.Put back all equipment after use where it belongs in order to avoid any tripping hazards and for others to find the equipment easily.  Pick up after yourself.  Your gym membership fee is for use of the facility and equipment; it's not a maid service.

When you follow proper etiquette you provide others the opportunity to form a favorable impression about you.  Next time you go the gym recognize that not only are you building a great body but you may also be building powerful social and professional connections through your courteous persona, good manners, wit and charm!

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Modern Manners + Etiquette: Wedding Guest Etiquette

Posted in : Modern Etiquette

(added 15 days ago)

Wedding Guest Etiquette questions galore are being asked at NewportManners.com in anticipation of the knot-tying season. Clear and simple Dos and Don'ts from dress codes to guests inviting guests. Most importantly, can a guest wear white and can guests bring their kids?
Dear Didi,
My boyfriend received an invitation to a wedding. The envelope didn't include my name or the word, "guest". We know the couple and they know we live together. The RSVP card asks how many will be attending? Am I invited or not?  E.S., Watch Hill

Dear E.S.,
If you had been invited to the wedding, your name would have appeared on the envelope, and since the words "and guest" were not written after your boyfriend's name, he is invited solo. The RSVP card is printed for everyone -- singles, couples, families -- because the host will have to give an accurate headcount to the caterer: it is not an option for guests to invite guests. Nonetheless, don't assume the exclusion was deliberate.  ~Didi

Dear Didi,
Is it inappropriate to wish a bride-to-be "Congratulations"? I have always heard that it should be, "Best Wishes" but don't know just why that is.  A.Y., North Kingstown

Dear A.Y.,
Please do congratulate the bride. The whole congratulations vs. best wishes issue is dated---and sexist. Think about it. Why would you congratulate the groom on his great catch and say to the bride best wishes---implying that you hope she doesn't get ditched at the altar.  ~Didi

Dear Didi,
Is it okay just to go the reception??  Jeannie, New Haven, CT

Dear Jeannie,
Traditionally, it is okay to go to the church and not the reception, but it is not okay to go to the reception and not the church. Some people like to say the reception is your reward for going to the church ceremony.  ~Didi

Dear Didi,
I am attending a wedding as the date of the groom's mother. Should I give the newlyweds a gift? I've only met them once.  J.B., Providence

Dear J.B.,
You have two choices. You can either write the wedding couple a heartfelt letter of congratulations thanking them for including you in their wedding or you can send them a gift from their bridal registry.  ~Didi

Dear Didi,
Is it tacky to bring my own camera to a friend's wedding?  M.B., New York City

Dear M.B.,
No, it is not tacky; however, before taking any flash photos at the reception, you need to ask either the bride or groom, if they mind if you take photos with a flash camera. Sometimes a flash will interfere with the work of the official wedding photographer. The newlyweds would most likely welcome a couple of photos with another point of view. If it's a really big wedding, you should call the wedding planner beforehand to get permission to take photos. Smartphones are in everyone's pocket or evening bag, so most wedding couples shouldn't have a problem with them because there is no flash. Just don't post drinking-related photos of the bride and groom on social media sites.  ~Didi

Dear Didi,
I was invited to a formal wedding and have been told I can't come with a guest. I told the hostess that I don't like going anywhere by myself, but she says it's costing $100/person so she can't allow me to come with a guest. I said I would attend the wedding, but not the reception, and she is angry with me. What are your thoughts?  Kate, Barrington

Dear Kate,
It would be a shame to miss your friend's wedding reception. Tell her you would like to come to the wedding but you don't want to accept unless she promises to seat you with people she thinks you will like. That's what a good hostess does. Seating wedding guests is a huge job because you can never please everyone, but if you ask her nicely, then she'll take special care when seating you. You might be pleasantly surprised! She could get back to you saying, "I've got just the table for you." Then try to learn who the other people at the table are by checking them out on the Internet. That way you'll have topics of conversation to share.  ~Didi

Dear Didi,
If you are invited to a bridal shower, an engagement/wedding cocktail party and the wedding itself are you required to bring a gift to all three?  Marybeth, Duxbury, MA

Dear Marybeth,
No, you are not required to bring a gift to all three events. Two gifts for one wedding is more than enough. Not to worry, brides and grooms understand that the more invitations, the more watered down the gifts. For the shower take a small token gift and send a wedding present from the couples' bridal registry in a timely fashion---even though you have up to a year to do so. It's the thought that went into your gift, not the number of gifts that they'll remember. As a thank-you for the cocktail party, a short note to the host within a month will suffice.  ~Didi

Dear Didi,
Would it be all right for me to take my two kids ages four and six to a wedding? The wedding is out of town which means that with the expense of travel, hotel, and the wedding present, leaving my kids with a sitter would be another added huge expense. It's my husband's college buddy and he really wants us to go.  Arlene, Franklin, NH

Dear Arlene,
You're not going to like this honest answer. Your husband's buddy must know he has children. If they were invited to the wedding, their names would have been included on an inside envelope or on the invitation itself. Many weddings do not have accommodations for children. When they do, that information is included with the invitation. It would be better to skimp on the cost of the wedding present and leave the kids with a sitter, than to have a miserable time at the wedding chasing around your two over-stimulated kids on a wedding-cake sugar high. Kids that age love to dance to the music, but it's you and your husband who should be kicking up your heels on the dance floor.  ~Didi

Dear Didi,
Can a wedding guest wear white?  Michelle, Chicago, IL

Dear Michelle,
No, you cannot wear white. The only person wearing a white dress at the wedding is the bride. It would be disrespectful to the bride and her family if you wore white to her wedding. ~Didi

Dear Didi,
We have been invited to a 5pm vineyard wedding in Newport in June but the invitation doesn't give a dress code. So how do we know what to wear? Does my husband rent a tux and I wear a long dress even though it doesn't say Black Tie?  J.T., Beloit, WI

Dear J.T.,
When the wedding invitation doesn't specify Black Tie or Formal Attire, you can assume that the dress code is Suits & Dresses. Your husband would wear a light-weight dark suit or a blazer with either dress khakis or off-white trousers, a collared shirt and handsome tie. You would wear a knee-length cocktail dress with beautiful shoes.  ~Didi

Dear Didi,
How are you supposed to wear your wedding ring & engagement ring? I was always told your band should go on the bottom, closest to your heart.  C.M., Tulsa, OK

Dear C.M.,
You are correct. It is also more comfortable to have the wedding band closest to your heart.  ~Didi

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Training in etiquette is a vital first step

Posted in : Training Etiquette

(added 17 days ago)

If the quality of their heels is poor how do you expect students to walk properly?
If their teeth are yellow because of poor water and hygiene, and they have no money for braces, how do you expect them to smile properly?
If personal hygiene is poor how can you expect them to mingle with people?

I almost spat out my morning coffee when I read these comments in an article. To me it is just another "scam school". How dare they prey on the vulnerability of young women. As I often say in my books and business etiquette seminars, it's not about how much you learn, it's about the true inner beauty within you. When you live in a country where GDP is soaring, but there is no core value or moral education, and learning is by rote drilling, how can one learn what it takes to have the charm and social graces of a true lady or gentleman?

We are global citizens now, we cannot just thrive on hard power - soft power is just as crucial. For my English and business etiquette classes, I pick the students; the students don't pick me. Let's be frank, even if they want to be, some young people will never be a "lady" or a "gentleman".

In the United States young people have character education and community duties to help them develop. Kids are encouraged to think independently and know that how they deport themselves represents them as a whole. So what should young people do if they want to become a lady or a gentleman? They should enroll for training with a reputable school or individual. Actually there are few so-called etiquette schools or centers in the capital. Students should find out who has emerged from these courses and decide whether they are truly ladies and gentlemen.

Students are not dumb, they learn fast from their role models. But when their role models are not even fit to teach then what hope is there? Dr Hedy W. Lee (Lee Wen) is a Chinese American writer, social critic, consumer rights advocate, TV commentator and bilingual professor.

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Excerpt: Business Etiquette by Shital Kakkar Mehra

Posted in : Business Etiquettes

(added 21 days ago)

Shital Kakkar Mehra is one of the most experienced practitioners of corporate etiquette and international protocol in India today, having trained over three thousand executives, focusing on the specific requirements of the global Indian. Her articles have been published across business dailies and magazines. For the past 4 years, and has been invited as guest speaker to several business schools, including the Indian School of Business, IIM Bangalore and IIM Lucknow.

Here's an excerpt from the book 'Business Communication':
What's the fine art of communicating in business? Is it about putting forward your views aggressively? Using uzzwords to impress your business associates? Or, is it the ability to keep the conversation flowing while striking a fine balance between speaking and listening? At times, I have noticed that managers suffer from the teacher-student hangover, reminiscent of schooldays; managers assume the role of teachers, belting out instructions, completely forgetting that communication is a two-way street.

Business communication is the communication used to promote your products/services, your firm, even yourself before an outsider. Within the firm, it's used to provide information to employees, peers, seniors and juniors.
Communicating effectively in business:
- Builds rapport
- Attracts buy-ins from business partners/counterparts
- Gets your point across succinctly and achieves the desired results
Today, there are multiple communication tools available and it's important that managers learn to use the correct one.

Using the Business Etiquette right tool can help gain support and build rapport, while using the wrong one can have the contrary impact. In business, especially in moments of crises, it's critical to use both words and body language to communicate concern and empathy. The chapters in this book are divided into verbal communication, non-verbal communication and techno-etiquette to help you upgrade your ability to communicate effectively at work. Consider how Indians and Americans view contracts. In India, we like to place a lot of faith on a person's word, resulting in lack of strict legal contracts and documentation.

Also, we are happy to seal the deal with a one-page document if needed. In the US, it's customary to sign contracts before venturing into any business deal. Being a highly litigious society, they sign lengthy contracts, factoring in every eventuality and plugging every loophole. In international business, it's best to know the communication style of a country prior to negotiating business. As the writer Peter Drucker famously said: 'Be ready or be lost. If you don't think globally you deserve to be unemployed and you will be.'Clearly, human actions, speech patterns and gestures in international business settings are subject to wide interpretation, often making misunderstandings likely and cooperation impossible.

Business conversation
The ability to conduct conversation in business is critical for your success, regardless of your job profile or the industry you belong to. Your choice of words, your voice, use of grammar and accent, all create impact. Good conversationalists know how to present themselves in a positive light, thereby influencing decisionmaking.

'Sorry, I don't understand . . .' If you hear this frequently at work, take a step back and evaluate your communication skills. Do you speak too fast or too softly? Is your style too dictatorial and authoritative? Also, it's not just what you say but how you say it that counts. In today's business world, the ability to communicate effectively is a leadership skill for which companies are willing to pay a hefty premium.

The Power of Words
The poet Rudyard Kipling once said: 'Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind. 'After the initial few seconds of a face-to-face meeting, the visual (that is, how you look) takes a backseat and your verbal ability (that is, what you say or the words you use) takes precedence. Words are the most powerful communication tool we have that generate feelings and images and build expectations, both negative and positive. A common trait among leaders, in both the business and political worlds, is their ability to maximize their 'personal brand' by using the right words. Also, regardless of their industry/age/gender, leaders know how to communicate ideas clearly and effectively.

People want to learn 'power' words, which they can use to impress their bosses, clients and peers. When asked, 'What are power words?', they define them as words that add force to their statements. While this sounds impressive, in reality, good language skills are a rarity. Emails with poorly constructed sentences, glaring grammatical errors and excessive use of abbreviations/emoticons are commonplace. In meetings, people often tend to use wrong words or mispronounce them without knowing any better. In spite of the technological advances of the last decade, good language skills still require creative thinking and an advanced vocabulary, two things which have not yet been
replaced by technology.

To improve your ability to use words effectively, focus on the following:
- Content: If you are lacking in knowledge, you lack the raw material needed to communicate effectively. Power words are not a substitute for shoddy research, bad planning or poor information resources. Build up your knowledge bank by broadening your horizons and reading about a variety of subjects.

- Enlarge your vocabulary: Improve your vocabulary by reading and aggressively finding out meanings of new words you encounter in your everyday life. I am a big fan of online dictionaries. I have noticed that people frequently mistake one word for another, in both written and verbal conversation, a trait technically known as malapropism. For example, using 'advice' instead of 'advise' (advice is a noun, meaning 'guidance or recommendation', while advise is a verb meaning 'informing someone about a fact or situation').

- Adjust your vocabulary: Adjust your vocabulary to suit your listeners. Subordinates can be too scared to admit that they are unable to understand a word/phrase spoken by their superior, thus, sometimes, failing to complete the expected task.

- Improve your grammar: While words help convey thoughts and ideas, it's grammar which provides the structure. Poor grammatical skills reflect poorly on your language skills and may convey a completely different meaning. The best way to improve grammar is to invest in a reference grammar book. I would recommend English Grammar and Composition by Wren and Martin, an iconic book which has helped people improve their grammar across generations. If you feel you are unable to improve with self-study, invest in a tutor-a small investment of time and money compared to a lifetime of dividends.

- Cut out the jargon: While jargon and buzzwords sound trendy, people, especially seniors, may not understand them. Instead, use simple language and focus on communicating in an articulate way. Ultimately, the idea behind business communication is to not impress but to get the point across!

- Learn to replace: An easy trick is to reread your article/ speech/presentation and replace a complex or elaborate phrase with a simpler one, making the content crisper.

- Use action words: Words which show action build word images; for example, words like 'accomplished', 'achieved', 'awarded', 'completed', 'delegated', 'generated', 'launched', 'negotiated', 'bought', 'budgeted', 'represented' and 'trained' can create a powerful image in a resume. On the other hand, words like 'seems', 'perhaps', 'apparently' and
'usually' make you appear unsure and unprofessional.

- Don't overload: Words and phrases like 'bandwidth', 'honestly', 'actually', 'basically', 'at the end of the day', 'core competency', 'leap frog' and 'mission-critical' are the most frequently used buzzwords in India. 'Honestly', they communicate nothing! Use specific and precise descriptions in simple English rather than complicated words that force people into mental gymnastics.

- Use junior school English: Use shorter and simpler sentences in cross-border communication as the purpose of business communication is to ensure that your message is understood by all. Avoid the use of smileys, local words or foreign phrases.

- Avoid slang: Slang is catching on in India, courtesy the American influence. While it adds the much-needed zing in casual conversation, it's best kept out in formal business discussions and interviews. I would rate 'Please' and 'Thank you' as the most powerful business words. Use them liberally in your business interactions and you will see enthusiasm levels soaring upwards.

The Power of the Voice
Mahatma Gandhi's voice was gripping, Indira Gandhi's conveyed authority while Rajiv Gandhi's had a soothing quality. Shut your eyes and think of a rich baritone. Are you thinking of Amitabh Bachchan or Frank Sinatra? Think of a feminine and melodious voice. Whom are you visualizing now? Perhaps Lata Mangeshkar? Now, think of a husky voice or a scary voice. Voice creates impact.
In business, a well-modulated voice:

- Inspires trust

- Synchronizes your body language with your words

- Creates balance and impact

- Generates listener's interest by expressing emotions (sadness, happiness, nervousness or fear)
While most people believe that elaborate vocabulary is essential to communicate well, scientific research shows that voice quality (pitch, tone, volume and inflection) creates an equally powerful impact.

- Diction: Clear diction makes it easy to understand the words. President Obama's clear diction and rich voice lends to his charm.

- Accent: Although in today's world of business being accentneutral isn't a must-have, a heavy regional accent can make it difficult to get your point across. When interacting with people from a different country, don't put on an accent or imitate theirs, as you will run the risk of appearing 'fake'.

- Pitch: High-pitched voices are rated as shrill while lowpitched voices are rated as poised. Notice how seasoned politicians and business leaders speak in a deep, lowpitched voice.

- Pronunciation: Good pronunciation reflects good schooling and attention to detail. When in doubt, check the dictionary.

- Tone: A monotonous voice is considered the biggest turnoff during a presentation. Vary the tone to express feelings and moods, thus adding drama and generating interest. The Voice in Public Speaking When speaking to large groups or while making presentations, put in some extra effort to improve your voice quality. The two leadership skills which are 'must-haves' in the world of business are the ability to speak in front of people and the ability to communicate a thought in an articulate way, both in written and oral communication.

- Diagnosis: Record your voice, play it back and then rate it as an unbiased third party. Do you sound enthusiastic and energetic? Are you monotonous and boring? If you find yourself boring, think how dull others must find you!

- Vocal exercises: Classical singing, talking from the back of your throat, breathing from the chest, taking an acting course or reading children's stories-all help to improve the voice.

- Body language: Chin up accompanied with a good posture creates a powerful visual and helps you project your voice
better.

- Practice makes perfect: Grab opportunities for public speaking to improve your voice.

- Take care: Drink a glass of warm water instead of a cup of hot tea/coffee or a chilled cola before a presentation-it helps the voice remain even.
Humour at WorkWhen it comes to humour, remember the following:

- There is no 'one-size fits all' category of jokes-all jokes are not funny in all situations.

- In today's litigious times, 'politically incorrect' jokes (racist and sexist) are inappropriate.

- Inclusive humour forces audience participation while situational humour (for example, jokes on the current meltdown in the US or corruption in India) creates an instant connect with the audience.

- Work out the lowest common denominator when using humour with a diverse audience. A joke on yourself or self-deprecating humour works best in such situations as it makes you appear real.

- In Indian workplaces, humour is in short supply. We prefer humour in our Bollywood movies, laughter shows on television or jokes circulated via email. We would rather hear or read a joke in private than tell one at work.

While humour is dry and self-deprecating in the UK, in USA it's used to lighten the work stress, yet is not to be confused with lack of seriousness towards work commitments.

Tip 1: As the boss, don't link humour to your current position. As a peer, don't express your negative feelings (jealousy or hostility) towards a colleague via a joke, thereby damaging relationships forever.

Tip 2: In international business, many senior executives have burnt their fingers with the untimely use of humour. While Americans like to infuse humour in business, to their horror Asians take their jokes literally!

Conversation Pitfalls
In India, the most common conversation pitfalls I have observed as a trainer are:

Speaking Too Loudly
India is a bustling nation of over a billion people. We live and work with loudspeakers blaring, noisy processions in the streets and people honking indiscriminately. As a result, we tend to speak louder, both at work and at home, just to be heard over the background din. Unfortunately, when we travel overseas for business or are in a quieter setting in our own country, we are unable to adjust the volume of our conversations and continue to speak loudly.

Amar Sinhji, head of Human Resources, Tata Capital, says: 'The one key soft skill we Indians need to dramatically upgrade is to speak softly in international business settings. While in India speaking loudly is considered normal, internationally it's jarring to the senses, besides being rude and aggressive.'

- Speaking loudly is a cultural phenomenon. For example, Asians and Americans speak louder than west and north Europeans. Interestingly, the Chinese speak louder than Indians, especially in restaurants and while chatting on their mobile phones!

- Speaking loudly is dependent on location: We speak in hushed tones when seated in a formal dining/conference room but automatically speak louder while seated in a bustling bistro/cafeteria.

Tip 1: Too loud is jarring and too soft conveys lack of confidence; so speak at a comfortable medium volume.

Tip 2: In an international setting, pay attention to your surroundings and adjust your volume to match those around you.

Speaking Too Fast
People speak faster when they are excited or nervous. In reality, speaking slowly makes it easier for people to listen and for the speaker to get his/her point across. In India, English has emerged as the lingua franca, the language used for communicating with our fellow Indians. It's the popular medium of instruction at schools and colleges and is the universal business language in our country.

A German once highlighted this interesting point. He said, 'Indians speak English very fast. Is it because you are very good at English and don't waste time converting it to your local language, something we have to do all the time?'
Tips to speak slowly

- Make a commitment: To speak slowly, clearly and to enunciate properly.

- Honour speed breakers: View commas and full stops as speed breakers, the same way you would do while driving.
Take a mini pause at a comma and come to a full stop at the full stop!

- Summarize: Take short breaks and use them to summarize, ensuring your listeners are in tune with you.

- Pace: Pace yourself to project confidence. If you speak too fast, you may appear anxious or nervous, and if you speak too slowly, you may appear boring and monotonous.

- Body language: In face-to-face meetings, take advantage of the visual by watching body language signals from your audience. If they are looking lost, reduce the pace to bring back interest in the conversation.

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Modern Etiquette: Dealing with Annoying Co-Workers

Posted in : Modern Etiquette

(added 23 days ago)

(Reuters) - The Know-it-All. Negative Nancy. Larry Loud-Talker. The Over-Sharer. The workplace is filled with all kinds of personalities, each with their own unique (and sometimes annoying) habits.

While you can't choose your co-workers you can choose how you handle their annoying behavior. Your best approach will largely depend upon your circumstances, and the level of annoyance.

For example, if your co-worker's habit hampers your ability to do your job you'll need to take care of the problem even if it means going to your supervisor. However, filing even a 'verbal' complaint should always be your last-resort. Meanwhile, you may want to look at your own workplace behavior which, unknowingly, may be offensive to others.

Tips for Resolving Conflict
Remove yourself from the situation: If you find yourself focusing more on your co-worker's annoyance than the work in front of you, take a break. Even a few minutes in a restroom or break room will clear your head and calm your nerves.

Find an outlet for your frustration: A 20-minute power walk or "vent-session" with a trusted friend is another option. Once you've released the built-up tension you'll find you have a new perspective on the situation.

Find your focus: If deadlines prevent you from removing yourself from the situation, create a place of calm in your own mind. Any technique that helps you create a "clear headspace" will provide a sense of control and calm. Try noise-canceling ear-buds or mentally repeat a mantra, like "focus" in your mind.

Go to the Source: If all your attempts fail and your work is still suffering be respectful and pay your co-worker the courtesy of addressing them directly. Explain the problem (e.g., it's hard for me to concentrate) and, together, find a solution that works for the both of you.

Last resort: If the problem persists you have no choice but to bring your concern to a supervisor. Who knows, you may not be the only one in the office having a problem with this co-worker.

Taboo Workplace Topics
Even the most friendly workplace conversation can sour when people discuss 'taboo topics.' To avoid office friction, don't brooch the following 'hot topics;' and if raised by co-workers opt-out of the conversation.

Salary: Your salary was determined by you and your employer. It's proprietary information and should stay that way. Medical Woes: Only you and your family care about your medical problems. Keep your aches and pains to yourself.

Relationship Problems: Failed romances and other relationship issues belong in your personal life, not in your professional life. No exceptions! Sex, Religion Politics: These 'big three' hot button topics are non-negotiable. They are called hot button topics because they are polarizing and run the risk of alienating, even insulting, colleagues. Discussing sex, religion and politics is always off-limits and inappropriate in the workplace.

Examine Your Own Behavior
As you go about your workday pay attention to your interactions with others. Do you interrupt colleagues while they're working or engaged in conversation with others? Do you discuss business matters with co-workers or do you bring up personal issues, about yourself and others? Do you complain about problems in the workplace but fail to offer any viable solutions?

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Eco Etiquette: Forget Earth Day?

Posted in : Eco Etiquette

(added 24 days ago)

Send all your eco-inquiries to Jennifer Grayson at eco etiquette. Questions may be edited for length and clarity. This week, I had originally planned to write a piece about Earth Day optimism. The column was supposed to highlight the most exciting and uplifting environmental news I could find (Evangelicals are becoming tree huggers! More celebrities are going vegan!), all in the hopes of inspiring you, my dear Earth Day enthusiasts, to keep fighting the good fight.

But you know what? I really don't feel like it. I never expected being green to be easy, of course, but the news as of late has been so abysmal that even eternal eco-optimists like myself want to stick their head in the sand.

US greenhouse gas emissions are on the rise once again. One in 88 American children now has autism (with pollution being named a possible cause). Tornado megastorms are ripping across the Midwest faster than you can ask, Is this related to climate change? (Scientists are hesitating on this one, but interestingly, the American public isn't.)

Then, there are the recent setbacks; the ones that make it seem like no matter how many of us cry out for change, we'll never be able to rise above political infighting and the powers that be (Big Oil, Big Ag, Big Chem).

Senate Republicans blocked the bill to eliminate tax breaks for rich oil companies before it could even come to an honest vote. Despite intense consumer demand, the FDA chose not to ban endocrine-disrupting chemical BPA from food packaging. A million Americans signed a petition supporting the labeling of GMOs and were promptly ignored (FDA, again).

So forgive me if I don't feel like having butterflies painted on my daughter's face at our local Earth Day celebration this weekend.

I know, I know: The founding of Earth Day in 1970 was instrumental in opening people's eyes to the environmental devastation we had inflicted. It was the impetus to pivotal pollution-fighting legislation like the Clean Air Act and Safe Drinking Water Act. More than a billion people worldwide are expected to participate in Earth Day this year, which is remarkable, if by sheer number alone.

But here's the reality: After planting a tree at a local event or recycling their old electronics, the majority of people (companies, our government) will go back to business as usual. They'll make choices that are beneficial to the environment when it's convenient or profitable; they'll look the other way when it's not.

Why? Because we haven't set the stakes high enough. In fact, we've missed the mark entirely. Save the planet, goes that familiar refrain each Earth Day. But it isn't the planet that's at stake this Earth Day; it's us.

I say it's high time we reposition the environmental argument. Our planet is indeed in peril, yes, but only the planet as we know it, in its beautiful, lush, human life–supporting state. Global temperatures are rising, polar ice caps are melting, and wildlife extinction is happening on a scale unprecedented in the earth's history.

But the fact remains that regardless of what we do -- burn through every last bit of fossil fuel, fill the oceans with trash, raze what little rainforest we have left -- the earth will endure. The human race, however, may not.

Our planet has sustained cataclysmic events before, after all, like the asteroid collision 65 million years ago that likely wiped out the dinosaurs and up to 70 percent of all living plants and animals.

It's also made it through times as hot as anthropogenic global warming is likely to cause, like during the Paleocene-Eocene Thermal Maximum some 56 million years ago. (Though there were evidently an obscene amount of insects. Something for the few humans who are left to endure daily and nightly 100-plus degree temperatures to look forward to.)

If more people took a moment to absorb the brutal reality that this is, in fact, a fight to save our life on earth as we know it, including the lives -- nay, the mere existence -- of our children and grandchildren, maybe we would stop bickering over regulations for power plants.

It sounds scary, but that's because it is scary. Nice as the sentiment of Earth Day may be, people rarely make sweeping change in the name of altruism. How much more effective would it be if we changed the name of Earth Day to Save the Human Race Day?

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(added 24 days ago) / 26 views