Last week, I found myself in a parenting pickle. My new “mommy friend” brought her 3-year-old daughter over for a play date. All was going well until I looked up and found my son in a puddle of tears.Through his sobs, he said that little Ashley hit him and took away his toy. Ashley just sat there, bemused. She’s older, bigger and tough as nails. My instinct was to get involved and protect my son.

But then I stopped in my tracks. Is it really my place to discipline someone else’s child? Is it socially acceptable to sternly scold another child with a firm “no”? Some might argue yes, especially because, in this instance, Ashley’s mother just shrugged it off with a dismissive, “They’re just kids.”

It got me thinking  the stakes are high when it comes to “play-date etiquette,” so much so that often times, adult friendships fray, or worse, end forever over friction among the kiddies. So what is a girl to do if she loves her friend but her friend’s kid, not so much?

As my son gets older and acquires more and more friendships, he will be able to choose whom he plays with and whom he doesn’t. But for now, he is following my lead. He looks forward to play dates and the interaction with friends. But what if my friends’ kids  — or my own, for that matter — turn out to be hitters, throwers or biters, like little Ashley?

Well, Ashley’s mom was right — they are just kids. Kids act out, and we can’t expect our 3-year-olds to act like adults.

Play-date fighting isn’t really about the kids after all. It’s about us as parents.

So what it comes down to is working with our friends to determine the rules and boundaries so that our children have play- date parameters.

When our children get older, it becomes their issue.

But for now, play-date etiquette is all about the parents.