Not sure how to ask your cube mate to lower his or her voice on personal calls? Wondering how much information is "too much" when it comes to talking about your social life at work? Mary Crane** is our etiquette guru and she is here to answer your questions.

Q: Is it business all the time, or is it appropriate to talk about your social life at work? If so, how far do you go with your conversations?

A: With rumors of recession filling the air, every employee should be thinking about building his or her professional network, and that means building personal relationships with peers and managers alike. Connecting socially is part and parcel of building relationships. So go ahead and connect with others at work. While you connect, avoid sharing details of your personal life. Some topics to avoid bringing up at work include: health issues; your sex life; relationship problems; personal finances; gossip about co-workers; and last night's beer bash. Also, never forget, what you choose not to say will communicate loads about you.

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The parks and recreation department is sponsoring etiquette classes at the senior center.

Teens in grades 9-12 can brush up on common courtesies, how to make the best first impression, interviewing skills, speaking style and poise in a workshop May 29 at 7 p.m. The cost is $15 per participant.

For children in grades 3-5, a workshop on proper etiquette, grooming, phone manners and dining skills taught through fun games and role playing will be held May 20 from 3:45 to 5:45 p.m. The cost is $20.

Sixth- through eighth-graders can learn how to properly set a table, table manners, Internet manners, everyday grooming (how to tie a tie, shake hands, eye contact) how to dress, everyday etiquette and how to make a good first impression, in a May 27 workshop from 3 to 5 p.m. The cost is $20.

The majority of today´s adults grew up without cell phones and email. Without parents and teachers to model email and cell phone etiquette, these two phenomena became a part of society. Most embraced the new technology together, learning as we went. In our enthusiasm, manners and etiquette apparently were never considered as part of the learning curve.

By now, enough time has elapsed with a group of children who will never know life without cell phones and e-mail. In fact, two-thirds of children do not believe they could easily live without a cell phone or the internet. Since we aren´t blazing an exemplary trail, is it too late to realize that new technology brings new etiquette and we need to make an effort to use our technology without losing our "manners"….and have our children learn correctly from the beginning?

"Netiquette" or email etiquette is the easiest to control. Four keys to good email are:

1. Never use ALL CAPS! As often as we hear this, people continue to do it. It´s perceived as shouting and is considered RUDE! Unlock your CAPS LOCK.

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With its economy booming, Vietnam’s nouveau riche are increasing in number, but sometimes they set themselves up for the “etiquette police”.

SAMBAL ON THE SIDE by BRENDA BENEDICT

Incongruous images are common in Hanoi these days – a sleek Jaguar standing amidst a multitude of revving motorbikes or someone manoeuvring a Mini Cooper convertible on busy Hai Ba Trung Street.

Why incongruous? Well, because on Hanoi’s already choked narrow streets where peddlers, pedestrians and cyclo drivers jostle for space, I am amazed to see cars manufactured to speed on Autobahns in the midst of this mayhem.

Perhaps the incongruity would hit home better when you think about how in 1985, table-fans and televisions were considered luxury items and basic necessities were still being rationed. In 1985, I was singing along to Do They Know It’s Christmas on my headphones.

Doi Moi (renovation) was introduced the following year and Vietnam’s economy has soared ever since, with the numbers of the nouveau riche rising dramatically.

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When visiting a village it is customary to present a gift of yaqona, which is also known as kava. The gift, called a sevusevu, is not expensive-half-a-kilo (which is appropriate) costs approximately $10.

It is presented to the Turaga ni Koro, the executive head of the village. The presentation is usually in his house and will generally be attended by some of the older men who happen to be in the vicinity at the time and can quickly turn into a social occasion. Pounded into powder, the yaqona will be mixed with water and served. Be prepared to shake hands and to answer many personal questions such as where you are from, are you married, how many children do you have, how much money you earn etc.

It is important to dress modestly when away from the immediate vicinity of your resort or hotel. Always carry a sulu (sarong, lavalava, pareu) to cover bathing togs or shorts and halter tops.

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As the birthplace of technology, Silicon Valley may have more gadgets per capita than any other place on the planet. Yet, even here, "always on" can be a real turnoff.

Frustrated by distracted workers so plugged in that they tune out in the middle of business meetings, a growing number of companies is going "topless," as in no laptops allowed. Also banned from some conference rooms: BlackBerrys, iPhones and other personal devices on which so many have come to depend.

Meetings have never been popular in Silicon Valley. Engineers would rather write code than talk about it. Over the years companies have come up with innovative ways to keep staff meetings from sucking up time. Some remove chairs to force everyone to talk fast on their feet. Others get everyone to drink a glass of water beforehand.

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“Children now love luxury. They have bad manners and contempt for authority. They show disrespect to their elders. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and are tyrants over their teachers.”

Sound familiar?

That quote is attributed to Socrates — in the fifth century BC.

Perhaps then, Alphonse Karr’s sentiment is even more astute: “The more things change, the more they remain the same.”

Adults continue to shake their heads in disbelief at the manners and misdeeds of modern youth. And retired teachers can be heard giving thanks for not having to teach in today’s classrooms of unruly, disrespectful students.

Are children in the 21st century more ill-mannered than Socrates’ subjects? Or are their misdemeanours simply different?

Certainly misconduct at home, in the classroom and in public places — restaurants, malls, supermarkets, et cetera — remains a concern.

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IT'S a sign of the times: the English aristocracy's good manners bible, Debrett's Correct Form, has been replaced by an updated guide. The new tome, Debrett's Etiquette For Girls, offers guidance on areas that would once have been considered most improper - one-night stands, adultery, celebrity encounters and office romances.

The updated version is required, says editor Jo Aitchison, because a whole new set of rules apply to today's complex dating scene, new technology, work and morality. Is it ever OK to pash in public? How do you behave when you meet a celebrity, and should you call back after a first date if you're not interested?

While Australians may not have a Debrett's there's Charm School, an etiquette guide for modern girls, by Kathy Buchanan. She wrote it to help women deal with thorny situations such as workplace flirtations, bumping into exes and handling dodgy flatmates, but also because she believes modern manners are sadly lacking.

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Experts say that the way a candidate behaves at a job interview can often be the deciding factor for those who decide whether or not the candidate is the right person for the job. Therefore, if you are really determined to get the job you want, it’s helpful to know certain rules and tips.

Svetlana Sokhatskaya, branch manager at Kelly Services recruiting company, said the very first thing needed for a successful job interview is “to prepare for it beforehand.”

“Firstly, you need to carefully study the information about the company to which you are applying. Use all possible information channels to do so — the Internet, personal connections, newspapers and reference books,” Sokhatskaya said.

Sokhatskaya said that candidates should be accurate and confident at interviews.

“It’s not an exam, but rather an opportunity to get a desired job,” she said. “Wear smart clothes, try to relax during the interview and calmly look your interlocutor in the eye. Answer the questions briefly and factually, without going into extra details,” she said.

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Most families have established their own table manners that are important to them. Here are a few that should be remembered when you are at home and when you are a guest

Never reach for any food that is not right in front of you. Ask someone to pass it. And if you are passing something, don't help yourself along the way.
If your food is too hot, wait for it to cool. Don't blow on it.
If you put something in your mouth that's too hot, don't spit it out. Reach for your water and take a quick swallow.
Don't talk with your mouth full.
Bring your food up to your mouth rather than bending over to reach it.
There are a few additional rules for eating in a restaurant:
Don't be upset if you spill something. It happens all the time. The waiter will clean it up.
Don't pick up your silverware if you drop it on the floor. Ask the waiter to replace it for you.
Don't put packages or handbags on the table.
Don't comb your hair at the table.
Don't use a toothpick in public.